Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind helping people out; to the contrary even. I like performing random acts of kindness and lending a helping hand when I can … I’ve been told I’m a supportive and helpful person though I don’t let it go to my head.
However …
Yes, a however … it’s like a “but” only four letters longer.
However, I’m apprehensive when it comes to helping out certain people. Not because I don’t like them, very much the opposite, but because I have seen what happens when others have helped them out. Advantage is taken of the helper. Expectations and precedents are set, a whole can of worms is opened.
For example:
Not too long ago I was asked by someone to watch their child for them before school. As a matter of fact they called me in a panic that morning and said “can I drop him off?” I said “sure, no problem, he can walk to school with the kids.” Ten minutes later mom pulled into the driveway, dropped off the child and was off again. Everything was fine, fifteen minutes later the kids went off to school. No harm, no foul.
Never before had these parents asked me to watch their child, though the child had been to our house on a few occasions for play dates and birthday parties.
A week later I got an email from the mom saying “I have an appointment and husband needs to be at work so we won’t be able to drop child off at school, can we drop him off at your house at 7:30am and he can go to school with your kids?”
Ooooh.
I had set a precedent. The worms were escaping from the can.
I’m not a horrible person, am I?
I said no. Polite, respectful, firm.
My reasons are few, but valid. My kids aren’t even awake at 7:30am being one of them. Another one being I need my schedule, just ask my mom and husband … if my schedule is a little out of whack the rest of my day takes a shit. The final, yet probably most important reason being is that I didn’t want it to end up being their regular babysitter.
The child is a well behaved boy and gets along with my kids great. I like his parents and don’t mind helping out now and again should an emergency arise, but I saw what they had done with another parent. I saw them consistently asking the other parent at the school if they could use their house as a drop off for their child, and sometimes dropping off the child unannounced. I’m guessing the other parent had enough and finally told them they’d have to find someone else, because that’s when they started asking me.
The parents were understanding when I told them they wouldn’t be able to leave their child here at 7:30am. They were courteous and respectful and we still talk, but they haven’t asked me again.
Nobody likes a can of worms.
